Change in Time
by Mukky
Summary: Sora never knew what he had.. Until it was gone.
1. Change in Time

Disclaimer: The characters used for this fan-fiction in no shape or form belong to me. They are the property of SquareEnix and Disney, and I acknowledge this, no matter how much I wish they could belong to me.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai reference [male/male smut]. If you're offended by this, please do not bother reading this fan fiction.  
  
Note: Sora is 18 years of age, and Riku is 19; they are in the 'normal' world.  
  
***  
  
As humans, we never honestly admit or acknowledge what we truly have until it's too late. The love and affection that surround us seems to magnify when someone or something has left us.  
  
I sat alone in the waiting room, gazing at my hands, tears long since dry. It felt like hours, though it could have been mere moments stretched by the sands of time. I didn't care, I would have waited a life-time just to see you walk through the doors again. And as Selphie, beautiful and energetic, came to me, her head bowed, eyes describing the torment I refused to believe to be true, I knew... I had known all along.  
  
It was a wonderful sunny day, you striding ahead of me with that obvious pride and grace. The sunlight gleamed off the rows of silver tresses that fell smoothly against your throat, and you offered me a sly smirk just over your shoulder. You knew I was falling behind, and yet you continued forward, amused by your game.  
  
I struggled through the crowd, calling after you, laughing all the same. But you ignored my protests as you continued forward, people parting to allow you pass as if you were an angel among the inferiors. And maybe in a way, you were.  
  
You stopped in the park, quietly to admire the display of sakura blossoms as they danced over the water's surface. I came to your side, following your gaze and smiled weakly. I always felt best when I was with you, even if words were unspoken, and our conversations usually composing of silence.  
  
"Pretty, isn't it?" you said with a sort of airiness. I nodded in agreement before you grasped my wrist, and directed my attention to the trees instead. A duo of doves sat perched upon a gnarled branch, heads rested together, wings folded and their bosoms feathered.  
  
"No matter where we go, Spring is in the air," you commented before guiding me away. We crossed the bridge, pausing only for a troop of children to play their game of chase between us, creating drastic figure eights as they circled around you or I, then off they went. I remember when our childhood adventures brought us to torture the elders of Destiny Islands; but those memories are of old, though always will be kept locked away in my mind.  
  
We strolled past the cathedral, drawn by the echoing chimes, listening to the change in pitch before you lost interest. Instead, you turned your attention to the busy market, entertained by the utter chaos and bustling of the little people as they went to and fro, searching for items or products to purchase.  
  
"This way, Sora," you directed and took me by the hand. Your fingertips crept up over my shoulders, before you draped an arm carelessly against them. I had grown use to this before, usually a warning that a noogie or a head-lock was in waiting, but somehow it felt different. Your hand didn't grip my opposite shoulder, in fact, it hardly touched it. Instead it hung beside my throat, your thumb gently caressing my skin. It was enchanting.  
  
"Where are we going?" I had asked, but you merely smiled. You were always keeping secrets from me, but nothing that was ever dangerous. So I didn't worry; but that didn't help the fact my curiosity was now perked. Yet I suppose that's why you hadn't replied, you always liked to watch me squirm.  
  
We traced circles through the gathering of people, carefully avoiding those with heavy shopping bags, and others with tempered children. I still hadn't any idea of our destination, but trusted you as you walked without hesitation, quite obviously aware of which way was what, despite the amount of havoc around us.  
  
"You say I never take you out," you murmured abruptly, and I almost hadn't heard it. I turned my head, my gaze wide and thoughtful, and you gently snubbed my nose. "I'm here to do otherwise." I suppose I likely blushed, as it's my nature these days it seems, and you chuckled in a way that did concern me. Sometimes your ideas were a bit far-fetched; I wasn't sure if this was one of them.  
  
Among the variety of lights, I could see a large bill-board posted nearby, declaring small but unique details about the film that was being played. 'Romeo & Juliet' it had said, then described the tragedy that had fallen upon the two lovers. You followed my gaze, observing the board before the smile gracing your lips widened and again you looked down upon me. Always looking down.  
  
"What?" I had squeaked as my gaze found yours, then went back to the board. Your hand that had since then been tickling my throat rose, and squeezed my shoulder tenderly. But you said nothing, and we merely continued on. We gradually came to a stop as you released your hold on me, and motioned me to remain where I was. Your expression was blank except for the serious glint of your eyes as you made your leave from my company, not bothering to see if I was obeying. But obey I did, and I remained there, a quiet country mouse among the others.  
  
Seconds felt like centuries before you returned only moments later, grasping a tall white cone in your hand. From it sprouted a fluffy cloud of pink, and I surveyed it cautiously before realizing what exactly you had brought: A treat. Cotton candy. You didn't shove it into my face, nor force it into my hands, but instead offered it as a child would present their guardians with a bad report card. You seemed almost shamed, but I could tell you were just embarrassed.  
  
Taking it graciously, the pink cloud hit my nose and you erupted with laughter. I smiled sheepishly, wiping away the sticky goo before you took a piece from me. You watched me with a satisfied smirk, as you always had before. Though the years had rolled by since our late adventure, things had changed between you and I, things we had no control over.. But I'm glad those things had changed.  
  
A woman cried from nearby, possibly behind you. You turned to observe the commotion, but instead was knocked aside, then balanced once more. A thick arm slid over your collar-bone, gripping you tightly with worn hands. A man, a horrific creature, stood behind you, a giant compared to your firm frame. Saliva dripped from his lips, his eyes wide with hatred. You likely said something, though it was lost as he screamed out to the crowd to remain in distance. I stood at the wall, cotton candy forgotten.  
  
Your slender fingers curled against his wrist as his other hand drew a pistol from his pocket. He pressed it against your temple, hollering another threat. The man was mad, completely out of his mind. And even as I looked at you, your expression was calm, though eyes wide with silent concern.  
  
"What do you plan to do?" you said to him, and received a rough shake, the alarm of a cock sounding from the gun. "Shut the fuck up," he told you, venom dripping from his tone [much like the endless amount of saliva], but you merely pressed a frown. Though you quieted, and allowed the man to calmly back away with you as his hostage.  
  
"Riku!" I had cried, and the gun was suddenly pointed toward me. Instinct's kicked in, the white cone falling from my hands as I lifted them up in salute. The man's hand trembled, and he stumbled, yet you managed to catch the fall. From the streets, I could hear the wail of sirens.. But they were still a good distance away. Why hadn't there been security among the rest?  
  
What happened next, I don't really know.. The man, possibly too infuriated to handle his own sanity, spun suddenly and you were released. You fell easily from him, stumbling to your feet before you turned and watched his approach toward me. You may have ran, or you may have glided; the man's pistol came to rest between my brow, and then suddenly you were there. Clawing as his face, nails digging into his flesh with your slender figure on his back. He batted at you, distracted, and I shrank away, stepping toward the enclosure of people nearby. I didn't want to be targeted again.  
  
He yanked you free, and I watched as you made collision with the ground. Time seemed to have slowed, those mere moments becoming endless. I saw the gun rise as you struggled to your knees, turning to face him. The gun exploded with a roar, once, twice, three times. Your shoulders rocked upon impact, eyes flashing wide before you grimaced, submitting to the first bullet, then the second and finally the third.  
  
You teetered on your knees, blood already beginning to spill from the wounds of your chest as the man turned, and fled. Even now I hate him, for ever daring to harm you.  
  
I dropped, no, I fell through an endless oblivion to the ground, my knees scraped against the tough granite of the walk-way. You held your posture, up-right, seeming to hiccup before you gradually fell back. I caught you before your head cracked against the cement though, and slowly laid you down, eyes sweeping along the blossoms of maroon that sprouted from your torso.  
  
"Sora.." you whispered, a fragment of a smile gracing your lips. I shook my head, brushing my knuckles against your cheek before supporting it in my hand. And yet your aqua eyes never left mine; Blood rolled like crimson tears from the part of your lips, and you raised a fist to gently draw against my cheek.  
  
"..We showed him," you commented, and again I shook my head. A finger came across your lips, tears already rolling down my cheeks.  
  
"Sh.. Don't talk Riku, please don't talk," I pleaded, unable to fight the growing knot in my stomach. You merely smiled, behind that finger, your hand coming to grasp mine. I laced our fingers, oblivious to the crowd around us, to the paramedics that rushed toward your fallen figure.  
  
"Please Sora. Please take care of her.." you asked, your grip on my hand tightening. Just as you had years ago, before I lost you to the darkness of Kingdom Hearts.  
  
"No Riku, no. I don't have to take care of her. We can do it together Riku, you and me, the both of us. Just don't give up, please don't give up," I replied, shaking my head hastily. Your smile remained, that mocking, knowing smile.  
  
"I love you." The words seemed to tumble from your lips and I allowed a choked sob to escape my dry throat. But the paramedics came, before I could reply, and I was brushed aside as if I meant nothing. But you were the reason they were there, you were all that was important. You disappeared into the vehicle, I following, and I sat on the cold, steel bench, watching the slow meter record your heart rate.. I listened to it's slow, dull thud; they were inserting needles, endless IVs, to recover the blood you had lost only moments before.  
  
And though I sat in the waiting room, refusing to believe the truth, recalling again and again the situation in my head. There must have been something I could have done, someway I could have prevented you from handling a wound. But I knew the truth, even before Selphie came to me, a glimmer of a tear on her cheek. Her eyes displayed unconditional pain, but she would never know what it felt like to be me at that moment. And as she quietly told me of your condition, and as those who were passing by offered me glances of sympathy.. My world ceased to be.  
  
It rained the day of your funeral. Everyone was there, even some people I didn't know, and I'm sure you hadn't either. But they were there to mourn an individual that had been lost in an unfortunate happening.  
  
I stood at your coffin's side, allowing myself to be drowned in the rain, ignoring Kairi's gaze of concern as she remained at my side, umbrella tucked over her head. I stared at the smooth wood, at the arrangement of flowers that rested on the silky lid. And the rain fell, without mercy, muffling the pastor's words. But I doubt I could have heard him anyway; I was lost in my thoughts, my thoughts of you.  
  
I sit here now, admiring your tombstone, remembering the face I once use to long to touch now beneath me. My fingers trace the collection of wording, slowly along the R of your name, over the I, across the K, and ending with the U. I smile fondly, allowing a tear to water the flowers that I brought for you. Sakura blossoms, just like that day. 'May he soar with angels, and allow every day to be sunny. In Memory of Riku, friend, companion, son,' your tombstone reads.  
  
"Sora?" a voice asks shakily, and I look up to see Kairi standing nearby, arms tucked behind her back. Her brow is drawn together, expression displaying deep concern. "Sora, it's time to go." Her hand gently touches my shoulder before she turns and walks away. I watch her go, then return to your tombstone.  
  
May indeed your days be sunny, Riku. But I can't imagine a sunny day without you nearby, without hearing your laugh or enduring your torture.. Yet I'll watch over her, like I promised once before. And this time, I mean it.  
  
I stand, brushing away the dirt from my pants. The sun glints from over- head, and I shade my eyes to gaze up at the sky. I know no matter where I go, you'll always be there, watching me. Looking down. You were always looking down. I suppose that's one thing that will never change.  
  
Oh.. I love you too.. Riku.  
  
***  
  
Please, don't kill me! ;; Poor Riku.. But awr, Sora's love is so strong. 


	2. Time for Change

Disclaimer: The characters used for this fan fiction in no shape or form belong to me. They are the property of SquareEnix and Disney, and I acknowledge this, no matter how much I wish they could belong to me.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai reference [male/male smut]. If you're offended by this, please do not waste my air and read this.  
  
Not Sora is 18 years of age, and Riku was 19; they are/were in the 'normal' world.  
  
***  
  
You were always one to go to Kairi if you were having problems. I suppose Kairi was your guidance through the rougher times; I know I hadn't proved to be.. And I don't think any amount of apologizing could ever fix the mistakes I made, or the damage I caused.  
  
You thought we were drifting apart, Kairi once told me, and I couldn't help but feel a little frustrated by that. You were always connected at my hip, struggling to remain at my side, to follow my footfalls no matter where they landed. And in a way, that issued the fact you and I were always together - or so it seemed that way in my mind. But maybe because of that delusion, we were being torn at the seams; I didn't like to grow attached. I didn't want to risk the chance that if something were to happen to you, I would suffer. I was always afraid of suffering. But I believe that I was already tormenting myself due to these false beliefs. So many things I had to tell you..  
  
I don't know what got into me that day when I called you, requesting your company to an unknown destination. You seemed skeptical, but accepted all the same, and you joined me within the following ten minutes. It was beautiful, warm day, and the city was erupting with excitement. You followed me through the crowd, attempting to push by people without causing alarm. When it came down to it, you were always having difficulties getting by obstacles; it was your eyes that gave you away. Your admirable cerulean eyes that displayed complete kindness and your gentle soul.  
  
I wandered toward the park, amused by the soft whisper of the creek that circled the playground and trees. Wild life had nearly ceased to be, and it surprised me then that those miraculous plants continued to thrive. I would have thought city-life to have broken their spirit, much like it did to those who lingered too often.  
  
You managed to stumble from the bustling wave of moving bodies, and came to a halt by my side. I knew you were confused, maybe concerned about why this wild goose-chase was continuing; I hadn't let any information slip. But I wanted it to be absolutely perfect, a part of me didn't want to fail you. I wanted nothing more than to see that smile I miss so much to grace your lips again.  
  
We didn't remain long, the park wasn't where it was meant to be. I had a terrible secret to tell you, or at least I felt it was terrible. I hadn't known how you would reply, how you would react. A part of me was afraid you'd push me away forever; but I felt that if in the right atmosphere, nothing could go wrong.  
  
We took part in a child's game as they circled around us in weaves, squealing with delight. It reminded me of when we were children, wielding wooden swords and bubbling tempers. We didn't fight much back then, though.. Until Kairi came.  
  
I lead you past the cathedral, pausing briefly to drown in the song of bells. You were completely enchanted, and I witnessed a rare smile touch your lips before it was swept away. Was it really so hard for you to be happy? What did those lame glances honestly mean? The thoughtless pout, drawn brow, sad eyes.. It was slowly tearing my heart in two.  
  
I drew my arm lazily across your shoulders, slightly hurt when I felt you flinch; I think you had the impression then I had the means to hurt you. I hadn't know what to do with my hand so instead it fell against your throat, brushing against your soft skin, chills cartwheeling up the length of my arm. I held my breath then, under the belief you might duck aside, or make a snide remark; but instead you nestled against my chest, my companion in the mindless march.  
  
"You say I never take you out," I whispered into your ear without realizing the words had slipped through my lips. You regarded me with wide eyes, as if I had delivered an embarrassing secret against your earlobe. So I touched your nose with my thumb, choking back a chuckle as your eyes crossed.  
  
"I'm here to do otherwise," I replied, to the question stamped across your forehead. As we approached a bill-board, I noticed your step falter as you gazed toward it with curiosity, momentarily allowing your mind to be drawn away. I followed your eyes, making the movement obvious before I allowed a smile to grace my lips. It seemed someone had means to offer fair hints to where I had plans to take you. Funny how the choice of Romeo & Juliet seems ironic.  
  
But time was passing, slipping through my fingertips at a disturbing speed. I had wanted the evening to last as long as possible before I would tell you, before I would possibly destroy our friendship forever. So we continued, until I witness a child pass with a cone of cotton-candy; it was then I was thunder-struck with an idea.  
  
"Wait here Sora," I told you, and left you standing against a stone column. I wanted to chance a glance back, to see if you had moved, but felt I wouldn't need to bother. You hardly failed to obey my word. I located the man with the booth, pleased to see business was slow, and made the purchase for an identical product the child had carried. It felt unusual, carrying the treat back to you, having to ignore the amused expressions I received. Your face lit up after a moment of confusion, and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Strange how I could have walked through that crowd naked, and not notice a thing, but the moment your eyes would sweep across me, I'd feel like the most vulnerable person alive.  
  
There was a brief interaction between you and the cotton candy, causing the chuckle I had muffled to the pit of my stomach to creep back. But it felt good laugh again, and you blushed sheepishly, blissfully unaware of the pink tint that spread across your cheeks like a forest fire. Even now I can admit I was always fond of your innocence.  
  
A woman cried from nearby, a series of noises issuing from behind and I turned to see what could have brought the sudden amount of laughter and joyous voices to an end. A shoulder knocked into mine, and I rocked nearly off balance, but was caught in mid-fall. An arm encircled my throat, strong against my shoulders, and I was overwhelmed by the putrid smell of alcohol. I could feel his chest heave against my back, his warm breath rustling through my hair. Saliva hit my bare shoulder, and I suppressed a shudder; this definitely wasn't part of the evening I had planned.  
  
"What do you plan to do?" I had asked, fingers wrapping around his thick wrist, trying to calm my thundering heart. But I felt your eyes upon me, and I forced a calm face, inclining my head slightly to catch a glimpse of the man. Cold metal was suddenly pressed against my temple, and I heard the distinct sound of a gun loading. Your jaw fell ajar, gaping dumbly at the weapon that wouldn't hesitant to ride through my skull like a ripe melon.  
  
You called my name in alarm, and the pistol lifted from my head, directed toward you. I felt fury explode through my chest, but knew if I moved, the chances of you being shot would sky rocket. And I couldn't have that.. I would never be able to live with myself if you were injured on this day that was suppose to make you realize.. Make you realize that I...  
  
He released me suddenly, throwing me from him, and I stumbled away.. He turned, his eyes mad with hatred, the gun once more targeting you. His feet carried him toward you, and you stood against the wall, eyes wide with shock. Catching myself from the brief fall, adrenaline seethed through my veins and I threw myself onto his back, attempting to tear out his eyes. He howled in pain, distracted by my presence and you shrunk away, one fourth your normal size. I felt his flesh rip away beneath my nails, and I choked back disgust, realizing this would be my only opportunity to protect you if he happened to lose his grip on reality.  
  
But my triumph was brief as he caught my leg and threw me to the ground, the gathered crowd moaning as I hit the granite. You began to rush toward me as I lifted myself to my knees, turning to face the lunatic. The gun roared, and as I made to stand, my body buckled against the impact as a bullet tore through my chest. The gun cried twice more, a mere whine compared to the first, but I didn't feel either of the two as they hit home.  
  
For a brief second, the pain began to subside, blood already damp on my front. I hadn't realized I was falling until I felt your arms encircle me, your eyes frantic as they searched my torso. My vision swam as I felt the cool cement beneath me, and I gazed up into your eyes, aware of the tears that were threatening to spill across your cheeks.  
  
"..Sora," I murmured, trying to sound strong, to reassure you things were alright. I smiled weakly, before you shook your head, your knuckles brushing across my cheek. I fought the urge to close my eyes to the sensation, and bury my cheek into your hand. But you cradled my face, as if reading my mind and delivering that prayer.  
  
"..We showed him," I joked, raising my fist to knock against your cheek. But I could feel the strength draining from my limbs and it fell easily to my side again. Your fingers laced mine, your lips dangerously close. I don't think you will ever know how close you were to me at that moment.  
  
"Please Sora. Please take care of her.." I requested, knowing what was to come. Kairi was always defenseless, and would always need our protection. And despite the mountains that had grown between us, I couldn't stand to think something might happen to her. Something during my absence.  
  
"No Riku, no. I don't have to take care of her. We can do it together Riku, you and me, the both of us. Just don't give up, please don't give up," you sobbed, tears trailing rivers from your beautiful eyes. And as I admired your handsome face, allowing myself to survey each detail, each crease, I knew there would never be a better moment than then. And I didn't want to depart from that world realizing my business wasn't finished.  
  
"I love you." That terrible secret, the horrible thing I had kept bottled away for months, for years of our friendship. Because of all the time I spent with you, every new thing I learned, I began to realize that the new, awkward emotion that was constantly blossoming in my heart was love. My love for you. And it had frightened me.  
  
The paramedics came, as useless as they were at that moment, tearing you away from my side. But I allowed them to, I didn't want you to see me in my moment of weakness. But I was gone before we ever reached the hospital, even if my heart continued to beat. My soul had departed, because I had accomplished the one thing I had swore would complete my life.  
  
I stood with you the day of my funeral, at the opposite side while Kairi accompanied the other. And I watched you, your sad gaze, the tears falling from your orbs of blue, mixed with the heavy pelt of rain. Even now I wish I had the opportunity to share with you what I had planned that day, and why now Romeo & Juliet seems so ironic.  
  
But I watch you, as you come and go from the cemetery daily. You visit me with a new bouquet of flowers, Sakura Blossoms. Much like the ones we had watched float down the creek the day the escaped lunatic decided to end our adventures together. And though sometimes I wonder if you'll stop visiting, you continue to come every day, at the same time, no matter what you're doing. Sometimes Kairi follows, her face describing deep sorrow as she watches you mourn for me.  
  
When you're alone, I sit with you, listening to you speak to my tombstone, to your memories, as if you knew I was there. And I suppose a part of you does realize this, and the same bit of you hears my replies to your questions. I know one day God may not allow me to make these visits, but I'll cross that bridge the day I find it.  
  
My tombstones reads of flight with angels, as if Heaven was to be crowded. People roam the clouds, the holy kingdom, but none of them are angels to me. And though I'm surprised I'm where I am today, I know I will never be in Heaven until my angel joins me.  
  
So I'll be waiting for you, Sora. I'll be waiting for my angel.  
  
***  
  
Ee.. End of Change in Time. Unexpected chapter. 


End file.
